A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Hunting flies," He responded.

"Oh, killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?

He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."

If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one 
is the Football player?
He's the one in the Sugar Bowl!

What is the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly but a fly can't bird!

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Don't say that, sir. Everyone will want one.

Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my teacup?
I wouldn't know, sir. I'm a waiter, not a fortuneteller

Why were the flies playing soccer in saucer?
They where playing for the cup!

Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied 'er!

Fly Facts:

• A single female fly may lay nearly 1000 eggs in her short life span of a few weeks. Source: Great Smokies Diagnostic Lab

• House flies are strongly suspected of transmitting at least 65 diseases to human, including typhoid fever, dysentry, cholera, poliomyelitis, yaws, anthrax, tularemia, leprosy and tuberculosis. Source: Pennsylvania State College of Agricultural Sciences

• Flies cost nearly $1 Billion in annual production losses to the U.S. dairy and beef industries. Source: United States Dept. of Agriculture