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Nostalgia on the Playground

I'm turning 28 this Wednesday. I'm moving farther from childhood. I'm starting to miss a lot of things. I reminisce a lot. There's something within me that just wants to stay. I still feel like a kid most of the times. And when I look at the mirror, or whenever I go inside the classroom and don the role of being a teacher, I feel old. These kids have their entire lives ahead of them.

 

Where have the years gone by?

How much time have I left?

 

Who's this man in the mirror?

Is he the same boy inside?

 

What lies ahead?

 

 
COMMENTS
Andre. said at 1:12 a.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
Well..if you feel old in your almost 28, I must be feeling DEAD LOL. Cool concept and happy birthday in advance
Mariusblack said at 1:33 a.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
haaay. i feel like that sometimes. and i'm younger than you are. hehe. thing is you don't have to dwell on that. besides, there seems to be a party to plan. hehe! advanced happy birthday, James my friend.. and oh, thanks again for your wonderful testimonial. =D
Abking said at 2:01 a.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
Believe me, you're going to look back one day and laugh at yourself for thinking 28 is old, but when you're there, you're there. I think back when I thought I was old because I was 24! Now, if Andre is feeling dead, I must be totally on the other side! Anyway, these are wonderful photos. You took ordinary subject matter and made it into something extraordinary.
21-gramm said at 2:02 a.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
many happy this DAY, James!
you tabblo is wonderful story about birthday and nostalgic mood!

thank you for elegant testimonial! it`s honour for me!
:-)
Sirnicolay said at 2:37 a.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
It just feels like I'm at a checkpoint again. I always have mixed feelings about my birthday every start of October. I remember how I used to celebrate it with my family--how my mom cooked my favorite spaghetti--how each celebration became meaningful each time with different friends and the ones who still stayed around. It's going to be a bit different this year.

Andre and Allan, the feeling of oldness does not come with age. I believe that age is a mental issue--I'm worried because of the internal conflict within me. I feel like I'm still a kid but I'm always reminded to act like an adult, especially at work and even by my family.

I miss the freedom of being just a kid. Often times, whenever I'm alone or with someone I really feel comfortable with, this kid inside me just comes out.

Just plain nostalgia, I guess.
Babooshka said at 4:32 a.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
very nice how you captured these pics! congratulations on your birthday! As long as we stay young inside we don't miss too much!
Hhwind said at 4:35 a.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
Come on teach, you are very young and vibrant Happy birthday in advance
Wildthing said at 4:48 a.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
That playground looks to be in need of some serious TLC. Would make a nice project for you and some of your pupils/students.
As for age....Just numbers, James. It' s how you feel inside that counts. Get past the math, chill, and enjoy every new day of the rest of your life. Doesn't do to dwell on passing time, because we don't get to re-live one second twice. The future is the Big Adventure to embrace; the past to be learned from, but not dwelt on too deeply.
OscarDaniel said at 6:51 a.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
Very good work! exelent pictures!
Wflorence said at 8:05 a.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
Don't ever let the child in you be fenced in. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of god like a little child will never enter in. Luke 18:17
Ericf said at 9:36 a.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
I just turned 39 James and I ponder these same thoughts. I certainly don't feel old but I remember being so much younger so it's puts a weird perspective on how I view being 39. I think that time gives us the benefit of getting to know ourselves better if we're open to it.

So don't think of it as being detached from youth...because these photos show that you're just seeing the youth inside you from a different perspective.
Ericf said at 9:39 a.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
oh, and the golden hues and perspective in #4 is amazing...great work!
Chaitiamma said at 10:40 a.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
Hey James, if this would make you feel better, I am almost 60, over the hill but still running wild !!! I still joke about with all the 19 years old colleagues, listening to the same hip-hops as they do, so, what is 28 ? Enjoy life and have A HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!
YorkJodi said at 10:40 a.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
OMG... I don't know where to start... ;) so, 1st of all... Congratulations on TOD!!!
Your tabblo is very poignant... the playground is so sad in it's state of broken swings & such shambles... and you are feeling sad as you tack on some more years... I remember how I felt when I was about to turn 30 (over 1/2 my life ago)... I thought it was the end of the world... now I WAS O-L-D!!!
But... now I AM old... and yet, my uncle is 32 years older & my mother 25 and they still live alone, doing things for themselves... so a lot of time is left for me... Some days I feel old when trying to do something I can no longer do... like a somersault (haha)... but most days I only remember how old I really am when I look at a photo or in the mirror and just before the camera snaps or the image reaches my eye, this "old lady" jumps in front of the "me" that I feel in my heart to be... I hate "her" but I love "me"...
Never lose that child in you... and let him out as often as possible... even in the classroom for that is why the students love learning from YOU...
Happy Birthday on Wednesday... and many, many more... Hugs...
Ira said at 10:43 a.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
Where there leaves childhood? We lose time. We do not notice it. Only when we look in a mirror we stop our run in time. It is very a pity. Each minute counts our term. And we hurry it, when we wait for any events.Remarkable melancholy and philosophical photos
Rdneg10 said at 10:53 a.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
Great Tabblo! You can just imagine how many hours this playground gave in happiness and smiles to so many children! Congrats on TOD!!! Well deserved!
Sirnicolay said at 10:53 a.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
Thank you, guys. I really appreciate your pieces of advice. Every year, it's the same thing--same worries about aging and birthdays. But don't mind me. Everything will be fine. Hopefully.

Socrates said, "The unreflected life is not worth living." I think, I'm just in the mood for reflection this week.

Mike, yes, hopefully I'll get past the math soon. It will happen. It actually feels good to worry about this inner child in me. THat means I still have it, right? :)

Eric, you're right--it's all a matter of perspective. Probably the rain and the sunset just boosted the mood for this nostalgia. I really felt sad taking these pictures. I thought, what a waste that this playground really needs a makeover. It saddened me that there wasn't a child playing. (Oh well, it just rained that time.)

David, thank you. As much as possible, I try to stay young with my students. I actually dread the day when I will discover that I could not relate with them. Right now, the gap between me and my students is a little more than a decade--still manageable since their "idols" (celebrities) are still people of my generation. SO I can still sympathize with them. Time will tell when I'll finally step out of the academe and just be happy with another career. :)

Jodi, I can totally relate with you about the camera experience. Haha! I admit I am pretty vain because I grew up with my parents being photographers. And when I first learned how to shoot pictures, I was mainly taking pictures of myself. So that actually developed my sense of observation--how my face changes through time. Whenever I look at a person beyond 40, I usually try to imagine how he/she looks like before the aging process happened. Weird eh? One thing I learned as I grow older is deeper appreciation and understanding of man's development through time. When I was a kid, I was afraid of old people--I used to loathe authority figures. But now, at this point, I'm beginning to look up on my fellow wiser adults who are "more experienced." That is a valuable learning for me.

It feels great to share the things in my head, express it through pictures and words and get this kind of response. I feel very grateful. Thank you, everyone. :)

Oh, this TOD is way cool. What an advanced birthday gift. Haha! :)
Sirnicolay said at 11:03 a.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
Thank you too, Marius, Den, Danitsja, Teo, Oscar, Bill, Ira and Kelly. :)
Maz2001 said at 11:09 a.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
Wonderfully done!!!
Saulblum said at 12:02 p.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
Congrats on ToD, and happy early birthday! I've been looking through some old photos myself and it's fascinating to see how people change over the years.
Debdog said at 12:45 p.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
congrats on TOD< beautiful pics the colors and all! LOVE IT!!!!!!!! the golden tones just before the sun!

As for the age thing...you are now ONLY 28......a LOT of life before you, but take it from me, NEVER NEVER take it for granted.... before my transplant I FELT OLD OLD AND SICK! NOT normal aging...I felt like a 90 year old in a 48 year old body...that went on for 3years till I got a new heart...Now I FEEL NORMAL ...and I have always stayed young in my heart and soul, your face changes, but your soul becomes oh so much BETTER! The child within you is still YOU...........keep all those sides of you alive, live gratefully, :) I now l look at some old people struggling and remember when it was me, in a young body, I smile at them, and lend a hand when i can....:)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOO! (advanced)
Yug said at 2:34 p.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
many happy this day. Believe me later you'll fill your self younger and younger.
Chiloedream said at 2:45 p.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
Superbe, une magnifique nostalgie. salut mon ami. Thierry-chiloedream.
Chilla said at 3:23 p.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
Poignant, nostalgic, sad are all words coming into my head..........then celebrate your birthday and look forward to all the new experiences you have yet to come. Happy Birthday James!
Pkeener said at 4:35 p.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
HEY JAMSIE!!! a fellow Libran, I will soon turn more almost twice your age, so yes, it's all in our minds. I love the Bob Dylan quote: "Ah, but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now" as long as we have a passion for something, photography, or what ever else keeps you burning, then we can stay young forever in our spirit.

This Tabblo is a remarkable look at at. All of the images surprise, delight, and connect. Love the shot of the sideways orientation of the slide and your feet.

keep up the self portraits, they are all part of the process. Happy Birthday. <3 Pamsie
Johnpgirvan57 said at 6:09 p.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
C'est la vie! Depressing isn't it?
Snooway said at 7:01 p.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
Congrats on TOD James, I loved the swing shots. Everytime I see swings, I need to get on and soar in the air. It doesn't matter how old you are, you can always enjoy the wind when you are swinging and can forget about many things;) Happy Birthday!
Lifequest22 said at 7:59 p.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
Excellent set, James. The images set a melancholy mood. But remember, each day you rise with the sun shining through your windows, is another day you are ready to play, learn and love . You're going to age like a fine wine.
Mariusblack said at 10:04 p.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
oooh, TOD again, TOD boy. hehehe! i somehow felt you would snag the award once again with this tabblo. congratulations, my friend. what an early birthday gift! =)
Clydo said at 11:58 p.m. on Oct 6, 2008:
Hey birthday boy, cool set! TOD for a birthday gift!!! stop brooding buy yourself a new lens and celebrate another year!!! Thanks for sharing all your pictures with us, James.
Noe said at 1:10 a.m. on Oct 7, 2008:
Felicidades por el tabblo del dia amigo! Muy bellas fotos como siempre, los colores geniales! =)
Sirnicolay said at 1:28 a.m. on Oct 7, 2008:
Wow! Lots of greetings. Haha! Thank you, guys! :) Thank you, Jane, Saul, Deb, Yuriy, Thierry, Celia, Pam, John, Sue, Linda, and E. :)

Thank you for cheering me up. :) It's been a great day today. Hopefully this feeling will extend to tomorrow. :)
Debdog said at 1:30 a.m. on Oct 7, 2008:
thanks for all the nice comments you said about me...:) xxoo OMG !!!!I just realized I am way old enough to be a Mom, or GRANDMOTHER >>>no way/maybe haha! Not having kids makes you not realize your own aging so much I think.. I am ONLY 53 and proud of it ;)
Sirnicolay said at 1:36 a.m. on Oct 7, 2008:
Gracias, mi amigo! :)
Krisu said at 4:27 a.m. on Oct 7, 2008:
How very sad views (and I'm dead compared to you! haha) Happy Birthday tomorrow and congrats on TOD! Well deserved!
Wildthing said at 5:12 a.m. on Oct 7, 2008:
Nice to see you got TOD for this inspired set, James.
Charlespop said at 8:10 a.m. on Oct 7, 2008:
This is a really powerful tabblo.......it works like a time machine..... wham bam.....you are back in time....floating on the playground...hearing your friends shout........looking at the clouds roll by in the sky.... great work.... salamat !
Mirella said at 8:17 a.m. on Oct 7, 2008:
Ciao, Sir. Congratulation on TOD. As far as I'm concerned, I feell exactly the same, but I'm not 29, nor 39, nor 49, nor 59.........and so on. Every time you think at the past there is something wrong you've made, something you would have had done (it is grammatically correct?); till you have a future you can do everything; to be a kid is not the best period, the best is "to be AWARE of beeing young', at least till 50-60 and then..........you are aware you are not young anymore, ....but LA VITA E'BELLA, ever (Do you remember the song from Benigni's movie, playing Noa?) . "Smile, wihtout a reason smile.....Happy Birthday from your bis-bis-bis-bis grandmother.
Mirella said at 8:21 a.m. on Oct 7, 2008:
By the way........your photos are fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Moabjeeper said at 9:17 a.m. on Oct 7, 2008:
Age is just a frame of mind. I spent 31 yrs in the classroon.
Janer said at 10:33 a.m. on Oct 7, 2008:
Happy birthday James!! Habol pa e hehe...
Swedfinn said at 11:46 a.m. on Oct 7, 2008:
I HAVE SPENT SOME YEARS IN CLASSROOM,TOO. MAYBE IT IS THERE YOU SEE CLEARLY THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHAT YOU WERE THEN AND WHAT YOU ARE NOW.
Siagian said at 12:16 p.m. on Oct 7, 2008:
happy birthday James! great work here channeling your nostalgia for the good ole days...28 is still pretty young in my book--it was a long time ago for me! =)
EMA said at 6:47 p.m. on Oct 7, 2008:
Happy birthday to you! 28!!!! You have a life ahead of you. I stayed in the classroom for a long time. I used to be a teacher too and I think THAT is a privilege because makes us feel younger.
Your tabblo is great! A playground without children is, really, a very lonely place.Congrats on the TOD.
AliDar said at 8:20 p.m. on Oct 7, 2008:
Don't worry James, I'm sure you'll have that conflict forever! It's when you start feeling comfortable with your maturity that life really begins to go down hill. ... The photos of the playground in that light really suit the melancholy of your mood, but the depth of colour is vibrant, and as long as you can see that, you will feel young. ... Old?! just wait till your knees won't allow you to climb that slide ladder! <G>
AliDar said at 8:21 p.m. on Oct 7, 2008:
Btw, Happy Birthday! ...And TOD! :)
Dan22man said at 2:14 p.m. on Oct 8, 2008:
Great Images! Happy Birthday James!
Sirnicolay said at 6:32 p.m. on Oct 8, 2008:
Thank you very much, Krisu, Mike, Charles, Mirella, Bob, Janer, Jorma, Woody, Edite, Dar and Dan. :)

My birthday yesterday was great. Had a lot of fun. I'll be posting pictures soon. Haha. :)
Albert_09 said at 5:53 p.m. on Oct 10, 2008:
Excelentes fotografias, en especial 1/4. Gracias por compartirlas.
Sheila said at 11:20 a.m. on Oct 11, 2008:
they have said it all =) ==== happy birthday!
Welshchick said at 5:16 a.m. on Oct 13, 2008:
Oh dear James...here is a little secret "It gets more fun as we go along because we get better at doing this..Life"...Keep jumping, dancing, singing and swinging (on the swing that is!!!) and ALWAYS believe in yourself my dear~~~I'm 51 and...really Life has just begun...you have great and wonderful times ahead!!!
Sirnicolay said at 6:26 a.m. on Oct 15, 2008:
THanks, Albert, Sheila and Rhonda :)
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