What do you see?

Ugh! It feels like the whole world is playing dodge ball and I want no part of it. 'Whatever' is my mantra. Am not fit for human consumption today or tomorrow or maybe this whole week.

Trying hard, I'd say. Forced. Artificial. Constipated. Noisy. Blurred. Crooked. I should have read my book instead of taking pics in the middle of a storm. But Norwegian Wood by Murakami is as painful as these images. I need a joint or maybe tantric sex to be more creative. Am stuck. Did I say stuck? Only trees get stuck. We always have a choice. I want to be outdoors. I need sunshine. I want happy images. I miss the sea and how it calms my soul. I want colors. Ack! Am rambling. - May 7, 2009

Do we need distance to get close?

It's never that easy. Not easy at all.

An all too familiar feeling. I wonder why I keep going back believing it will be different. Nothing's change. They're all alike, often disappointing - May 11, 2009

Remembrance Of

Things Gone

Awry

June 4, 2009

...DESIRE.

REVIVES LIKE FERNS ON A NOVEMBER FIRE.

IT COMES TO ONLY A MEMORY.

WE HAVE TOO MANY MEMORIES,

AND SOMEHOW I BELIEVE WE DIE

OF THINGS LIKE THESE.

LOVING WHAT WAS NOT, WHAT MIGHT BE,

NOR IS...

LIKE A PEARL DROPPED IN RED DARK WINE,

YOUR PALE FACE SANK WITHIN MY HEART,

NOT TO BE MINE, YET ALWAYS MINE

June 24, 2009

Shaving my hair seemed a like a temporary cure to insanity.

Months of inactivity here at Tabblo lead me to view my past work and photoblogs. I miss taking pictures.

From April till today, I have stopped taking pictures. I often wondered why. Today, I held my camera hoping to revive the feeling of excitement of creating my art. I used to lose myself in thought as soon as I lift my camera's viewfinder towards my right eye (which happens to be damaged because of uveitis). I peeped through the glass and nothing. I can't seem to see anything. For minutes, I stare at my surroundings. I can't see a damn thing worth taking a picture of. I feel nothing.

I want it back. I want to feel again. I want to feel the rush of pressing the shutter, of changing lens, of getting the exposure right, of waiting for the light, of turning the dials, of deciding the right moment...

All I have now is this image of my foot using my mobile phone. I want my mojo back.

I miss New York and Boston.

Sept 19, 2009

I think time stood still for me. And I think It's the same for you too.